I’ve been so consumed writing Their Twisted Love that I haven’t had much time to blog. So here’s a little peek at what I’m researching for it. This blog has a lot of great information about the D/s lifestyle and this particular post addresses who’s in charge. It’s not who you think.
I also found this little gem from another post: “My dominance is part of my core, and my dominance is what completes me. The “why’s” at the beginning of this post are not really the question. The real question is “Why Not?” ”
Originally posted on Joseph McNamara:
I have always thought that the role we assume in a D/s relationship are not only unique, but a bit misunderstood. Having lived in this type of relationship for many years as the Dominant, I thought I’d share my thought on this.
When you think of it, a Dominant cannot really express that dominance without a willing partner. The partner coming into the relationship, assumes the position so to speak, but first has to say yes I do indeed want this. Without that “yes”, the dominant becomes a molester of sorts and really has no right to abuse the other.
In my long term relationship and marriage into this lifestyle, there was always playful taking on my part, and equally there was playful suggestion and giving from my partner. But we were always in communication with each other’s needs and wants throughout the time we shared. I loved the surprise taking for my part, but had to always be cognizant of my partners willingness and acceptance at the same time. Safe-word’s when you think of it give the submissive the control to turn off by using it and continue by not. Once again, the dominance subtly comes from the submissive. And if a dominant cannot accept this, then it is just plain molestation and not a fulfilling D/s relationship at all.