Yep. I said it. And here’s why.
I saw an interesting quote picture on Facebook last week. Usually, I see the same pics posted and shared over and over, but so far, I’ve only seen this one once. It was shared by another erotica writer. I don’t remember the source, but the words stuck with me.
Behind every masturbation is a successful imagination.
The truth and the irony of those words struck me like nothing else. Sex was a big secret when I was growing up. I wasn’t told it was bad—I wasn’t told anything—so I had to use my imagination to figure out what sex was all about. One thing led to another, and well, let’s just say my imagination was very successful. But I lived in an environment infested with guilt and shame, and eventually my explorations led me to the statement (not mine) that masturbation was sin because of the fantasies that went along with it.
Well, that sucked.
I don’t know about men, but for women—for me, at least—orgasm from masturbation requires a certain amount of fantasy. I’ve never been visually oriented, so I created little stories to go along with the few stimulating images I carried around in my head. Some of those stories were so good I wrote them down (and that’s how I started writing erotica). But I kept them to myself for far too long, believing I was somehow wrong for having them.
The truth, as I believe it, is that imagination and fantasy are a gift, and the irony is if I’d known that sooner, success might not have eluded me for so long. It doesn’t matter what stimulates your imagination—sex, chocolate, bubbles, whatever—as long as you use it. Masturbation should be encouraged, privately of course, (Unless you want someone to watch. That’s fun too. ) because a successful imagination is a useful tool not only in erotic writing, but in any writing—and in life.