Dear Santa,

I have been a very good girl this year. I cleaned house every week, and I kept up with the laundry….

Okay, let’s cut the crap here. We both know I’m at the top of your naughty list. (And if I’m not, who do I have to boink to get there?) Dust bunnies lurk under the couch, and the laundry is ready to walk to the washer by itself because I spent my free time writing trashy stories.  I’ve been a very bad girl…and I’m not gonna apologize for it.

So here’s my wish list:

1. You-know-who under my tree wrapped in nothing but a big red ribbon. Gotta get a good start on next year’s naughty list.
2. A new computer. The hard drive on this one nearly melted when I wrote my last book. It won’t survive the next one.
3. Does #1 have a brother…or seven?
4. A real Kindle. Kindle for PC is nice, but see #2. All those trashy books in my TBR file aren’t helping.
5. Tell your elves to buy my books. That’ll keep them warm.

Do you want cookies and milk this year, or is a bottle of Scotch and a cigar more to your liking? That’s what I thought.

Thank you for the presents you brought me last year, especially the stocking stuffer. Wow. Give Mrs. Claus a kiss, and tell her my next book will kick start the spring thaw. I know she nearly burst into flames reading the last one. You can thank me later.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Trashy xoxoxox