Slut-shaming – it’s no joke

Many of my Facebook friends are romance and erotica fans like me so my timeline is often filled with man candy pics and dirty humor. I like it. Last week I found this little joke. slutI found this one funny because I have this:

2014-07-08 08.22.53But then a few posts later, I saw this one, and while I liked the analogy, it left me feeling uncomfortable. One was funny, but two felt like a trend and not in a good way.

slut2I know many women think a slut is a bad thing, but I reclaimed the word a long time ago. It’s an acronym: Sexually Liberated Unashamed/Uninhibited Temptress. Sara Jensen, from Secret Storm, is a proud S.L.U.T. and Jack loves her for it. So why the backlash against women who enjoy sex?

This is nothing new, and I’m not doing anything groundbreaking by writing about it.  I’ve been complaining about the problem for too long. It’s time for me to become part of the solution. How?

I’ll no longer be silent.  I’m done with that stuff. I’d love for everyone to agree with me and support my ideas about sex, but I know that’s not realistic or even healthy. Sex is highly personal. What turns me on may repulse you, but that’s okay.  No judgments, no shaming, no bad jokes. I’m open to questions and criticism because it makes me think. Discussion makes us learn. Let’s listen to each other.

And if you’re interested, I’ll tell you how I got my lipstick. ;)

Trashy as a Horrible Warning

Or Home is Where the Heat Is cover re-reveal. Ta-da!

home heat new

I hate rules. I hate following the crowd, doing what everyone else is doing. Many times I’ll purposely avoid a trend just because it is a trend. But in my quest to be unique, I strayed too far from the ideas that define the romance genre, and I failed. Hard.

I went to RomCon 2014 last weekend with 20 copies of Home is Where the Heat Is paperbacks. I’d sold almost 30 copies of my books homeheat coverlast year, so I worried that I didn’t have enough this time. But as the book signing came to a close, I still had a table stacked with books, and the event confirmed what I already suspected. Heat’s unique cover was a fail. I sold two copies, but most people overlooked it. I sold all the books with sexy covers, but no one was interested in Heat and one person, who’d won it as a prize, said she wouldn’t have picked it up and advised me to change it. Another woman asked if it was historical or fantasy. Dammit.

Something had to change, so I gave in to the genre’s demands.

But not entirely. The biggest reason I left the typical sexy couple, hot shirtless man cover behind was because everyone was doing it. And in indie publishing, we were all using the same images. I’ve seen the couples featured on Tell Me You Want Me, Secret Storm, and Their Twisted Love on several other books, and it broke my heart every time. I’ve taken a lot of risks this year, and most of them have gone down in flames. My friends said they’ve learned a lot from my mistakes, so I figure if I can’t be a good example, I’ll be a horrible warning. JT would be proud of me. ;)

What people are saying about Home is Where the Heat Is:

Shopgirl353: “…erotica with an actual plot and excellent storytelling.”

Gaele: “…for pure heart and fuel for the imagination this book is my favorite.”

Paula P: “…plenty of HOT HOT HOT scenes in this book.”

Becca: “…it’s a whole other level of erotica. Permanent spot on my shelf for this one.”

Keshia R: “If you like erotic, fun reads…pick up this book…like now!”

Home is Where the Heat Is—with its new erotic romance cover—is available everywhere.

Trashy does #RomCon14!

Tomorrow I’ll be appearing at RomCon 2014 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Denver, Colorado. You can still get tickets. I’m co-hosting two events on Friday, and I’ll have paperback copies of my latest release, Home is Where the Heat Is, available at the Author Signing event.

Here’s my schedule:

Friday

10:30-11:45 am   Naked Hero

1:45-3:15 pm       Chat Panel – Erotic Romance

7:00-8:30 pm       Author Signing

Check the hotel signs for event locations. I’ll have gift bag prizes for the Naked Hero and Chat Panel events.

gift bags
What’s in Trashy’s gift bags?

All my duties are on Friday, so on Saturday I’ll be there just for fun, but I’ll have some swag (Chocolate!) If you see me, stop and say hi.

Trashy chocolate!
Trashy chocolate!

I can’t wait! RomCon is always a blast, and I hope to see you there.

going_to_2014

 

Hump Day Hottie is Back!

Moving is a huge pain in the ass. I called my internet provider two weeks in advance to make sure I’d have a connection ready when I got to my new home, but no. The connection was live, but the previous occupant had ripped out the phone lines. Grr… But it’s all fixed now and I’m back with Man Candy galore! This week’s hottie is a guy who never goes out of style – John Stamos.

john-stamos-thenThankfully the hair has gone out of style, but the face hasn’t.

John-Stamos-08Always love a dripping wet shot. ;)

John-Stamos-2013-john-stamos-34464038-426-640Still looking fiiiine.

john-stamosMore wet goodness.

John stamos2Great smile.

Have a happy Hump Day!

 

Hump Day Hottie – Alexander Skarsgard

Woohoo! I posted on time. Next week is a crapshoot however, so be patient with me. But this week, my Hump Day Hottie is True Blood’s Viking Vampire, Eric Northman. I’m not usually attracted to blonds, but he’s an exception to that rule.

Eric True Blood2No problem finding naked pictures of this guy.

EricScary sexy.

Alexander-Skarsgard-as-Eric-NorthmanMore flesh for you.

alexander-skarsgard-as-eric-northman2That’s how I like my Vikings.

Alexander_Skarsgard_sexy_Eric_Northman_in_True_BloodYep, definitely liking the longer hair.

Wet-Alex-Skarsgard-Eric-Northman-true-blood-4143290-271-394And we finish with wet flesh. Wooo….

Enjoy your week!

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Hump Day Hottie – Jared Padalecki

I forgot again! At least it’s still Wednesday. This week’s hottie is Supernatural brother Sam Winchester played by Jared Padalecki. I’ve always preferred Dean, but lately Jared’s let his hair get long, so I’ve been appreciating him more.

Jared PadaleckiDirty works too. Oh my!

Jared padaleckiTongue!

jared_padalecki_01.jpgA happy dad is always hot.

*EXCLUSIVE* Jared Padalecki "Supernatural" at the beach in RioGratuitous shirtless pic.

JARED-PADALECKI-hottest-actors-20778401-1024-768Another one.

Maybe I need to appreciate this guy more often. ;)

I Happen to Like Naked – Updated

Update 5/28/2014: Found this on Tumblr. I don’t watch Game of Thrones and I never will. I can’t stomach graphic violence. But I appreciate Martin’s comments and I fully agree. Why don’t people see the double-standard here?

Update 7/31/2013: Pinterest finally followed through with their threats and deleted my account. So if you want more nekkid from Trashy, go to my Tumblr blog, Trashy’s Pleasures.

Update 7/7/2013: Pinterest deleted my Man Candy board, but my NSFW board is still there. Sheesh. Apparently, someone with a stick up their ass reported it one too many times. Oh well. I made a new one. Don’t fuck with me.

Update 1/27/2013: And today one of my Pinterest boards got reported for nudity. Gasp! I labelled it Trashy Pics – NSFW. What did you expect?

Update 12/23/2012: In light of recent horrific and tragic events in our country, I felt compelled to dig this post up again. There are far too many unanswered questions about the causes of violence, and no one perfect solution. But I think if we spent less time fighting and more time loving each other, maybe we could find a way to live in peace.

Happy Holidays.

~~~

I rarely get opinionated or controversial on my blog. I don’t like to piss people off. I like to make them feel gooood. Ahem. Anyway, the following post is about something that’s been bugging me for… ever, and I finally had enough. So there.

Last week I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline. I’m ‘friends’ with a lot of romance writers and many of them post pictures of men or couples with varying degrees of nudity and sometimes even sexual content. I’m okay with that. I actually like it, and anyone who follows my Tumblr blog will see I post nekkid pics, too.

Then I came across a picture of a woman who’d been axe-murdered and had her heart ripped out. It was obvious from the content that the image was fictionalized, supposed to be a joke, but Gah! The blood! This wasn’t the first time I’ve seen images of brutal violence on my timeline. I hid it, so I don’t know if anyone complained, but I recalled how often people complain about offensive images posted to their timeline. And unfortunately, in my opinion, the images they complain about contain sex.

Before I go any further, let me say that I am a mom. I understand why people don’t want their children to see nudity and sex; however, I realize the people I follow may post those kinds of images, so I don’t view my timeline in front of my daughter. I am talking about adults who find sexual images offensive but tolerate images of bloody death.

You want to know what offends me? Pictures of murdered or brutalized people, too often women, portrayed as a joke—or for any reason. And yet brutal violence is more acceptable in our society than beautiful sex. I will never understand this. I would much rather see an image of naked men and women experiencing pleasure than blood and guts splattered all over the walls. Sex is beautiful, natural, an essential part of life. It should be celebrated, not shamed.

Death is part of life, too. I know that all too well. But a person’s violent death at the hands of another is, unfortunately, as much a part of the human condition as sex. That’s what I’m ashamed of.

What do you find offensive?

If you’re offended by nekkid pictures (nekkid = no clothes and doing something fun), avert your eyes now. If not…enjoy!  Continue reading

The Twisted Mosaic Scores an Award

My erotica series, The Twisted Mosaic – Special Omnibus Edition, scored an 8.0 of 10 reader rating in RomCon 2014′s Reader’s Crown contest. Woohoo! I made the list! I’m at the bottom, but I’m on it. This is a tough score to get.  Every book in the Reader Rated system has been pre-screened by six readers and scored on twenty unique questions. Only 10-15% of titles submitted score an 8.0 or higher.

And my book made it. :)

twisted omnibusI’ll be appearing at RomCon in Denver on Friday, June 20 at the Naked Hero presentation, and I’m participating in the Erotic Romance Chat Panel. I’ll also have copies of The Twisted Mosaic, and my new release, Home is Where the Heat Is, for sale at the book signing on Friday night.

I’d love to see you there!

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